


An Orson Family Thanksgiving

by Idontknownamesarehard



Category: Password (Visual Novel)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22426429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idontknownamesarehard/pseuds/Idontknownamesarehard
Summary: After the mansion trip Orlando finds he’s alone on Thanksgiving, his friends having taken the next step in their lives, but when Orlando gets a surprise invitation to spend Thanksgiving with Dean’s family. Will Orlando learn from the Orson’s to forgive himself for his mistakes before he pushes Dean away, losing a friend and maybe something more?
Relationships: Orlando Noble/Dean Orson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	An Orson Family Thanksgiving

**Author's Note:**

> Written with knowledge of Password up to Day 9. So some character spoilers for Orlando and Dean if you haven’t read that far. If I get anything right after that it’s luck, I’m playing the dangerous game of writing a story taking place after the story is over this early.

I strolled into the supermarket. It felt like any other day for me- well any other days since our groups trip to the mansion anyway.

Some things had changed, Hoss asked me to look after his apartment while he was on set across the country. I agreed, of course. He thanked me for a whole minute before exploding into how excited he was to see his family, which only highlighted that part of why I agreed to mind his place to avoid mine. I needed to plan my next move given most of my friends had already split apart knowing theirs, I felt stuck in place, so I did what I usually do, find solace in baking.

The plan for today was a comfort food of mine, pie. I always turn to it when in a new situation and I need something consistent. I made it when starting high school and even at the start of the mansion trip, it’s comforting, I reach for a can of cherries, they aren’t in season so canned would have to do.

I knock over the can. It falls in slow motion, crashing to the floor with a deafening echo.

I stiffen, did anyone see? My eyes dart up and down the aisle... I’m alone, thank goodness!

I quickly return the can to the shelf and rush away, I can’t do anything right. Can’t even grab some ingredients without screwing it up _‘It’s just not something you’re able to do.’_ The words of my father echo in my ears. I could never escape it, any failure felt like proof he was right. I need something easier than pie to build my confidence back up… home-made pizza? I wanted pie but that could be nice.

Lost in thought I crash into something solid and warm. I almost fall but whatever I hit holds me in place.

I turn my head to see Dean, we’d bumped into each other and he hugged me to keep me on my feet… I become flushed, I can’t believe I let Dean see me in full zombie-mode.

Dean lets go of the hug and I hate myself for not wanting to step away, but I do. I’ve always thought Dean was handsome, but plenty of people are handsome, no point overthinking it. Dean looks the same as when I’d last seen him. The only change is he’s now wearing a red plaid jacket for the colder weather.

“You okay, Orlando? How’ve you been?” Dean smiled. He seemed happy in spite of things not working out with Dave, I wasn’t sure how best to comfort him if that came up… He just hugged me too! Come on Orlando, play it cool. No one’s noticed.

“!” my phone plays the MGS alert sound. Dean starts at the noise but quickly works out the source as I take out my phone.

Hoss had texted me a selfie, his arm wrapped around Tyson’s shoulder. The lion had the ‘photo smile’ he’d spent forever practicing back in high school and Tyson had the smug smirk from his rougher days, but now joy reached his eyes softening its edge. I could almost hear the two of them bickering before breaking into laughter. _“Don’t worry about Tyson, He’s spending Thanksgiving with my family.”_ Completed the message.

“It’s Thanksgiving?” I say in quiet shock.

Thanksgiving… This was the first Thanksgiving I’d spend alone. My grandad had made sure I wasn’t involved in my family’s mafia business. I was thankful for that, I didn’t want that for myself, but now that he’s gone. I don’t exactly feel welcome back home.

“You didn’t know?” Dean looks thoughtful adding. “You should spend Thanksgiving with me!” His eyes locked on mine, determined.

“What?”

“That is, if you aren’t spending it with your family! Family is important- You just made me think you didn’t have plans!” As quickly as Dean’s confidence had come it had crumbled. It was a pity as he was right… He needed to believe in himself more.

“You’re right… I don’t have plans. You’re sure that is ok? I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Orlando, you couldn’t be a burden if you tried.” Dean sounded honest but I still worried.

“Look Orlando, I’m not leaving you alone on Thanksgiving when you have no other plans. I’ll carry you back home if I have to.” Dean’s determination is back, tempered and focused.

Dean couldn’t actually lift me, right? I guess it doesn’t matter; I do honestly want to go. “I would appreciate it. I’ll finally get to meet your mother. I _still_ can’t believe you never told me she ran her own bakery.” I playfully elbow Dean in the side.

“Hey, better late than never! I gotta grab some things for dinner tonight and then we can head back home. ”

Dean’s phone buzzes and he looks at it, he reads it quickly and says. “Tyson went to go find himself and ended up right on Hoss’ doorstep.” So Dean got the same text too. “What’s Hoss up to anyway? You’re minding his place right?” Dean asks.

“Apparently someone saw what little preproduction work he did on Clearwater and offered him a chance to act in their haunted house show with time travel or something… Hoss seems convinced this one will come out. Still surprised he wants to do something like that after the mansion tri-” I’m not sure if Dean wanted to talk about it… I didn’t know if I was ready myself.  
“Point is he’s doing well, sounded happy last time I saw him, looks happy in this picture too.” I say.

“Those two have become close.” I say. We all became closer to Tyson during the trip, something I hadn’t expected out of my old bully. He really had changed; it should be a good thing. Was a good thing… It was just frustrating. Nothing on the trip went as I planned… It made me wonder how well I knew my friends.

“Yeah, those two like having someone they can fight who won’t get mad at anything. It’s good Tyson made more friends over the trip. I still feel bad for doubting him at first, but he’s a good friend.”

I nod. I agree but it still feels odd to say.

I follow Dean around the store. Words spill out of my mouth to fill the lull in conversation; I don’t want him to think I usually never have plans for the holidays. “I used to spend Thanksgiving with Sal.” I say. Dean nods, understanding. Sal decided after getting back from the mansion trip a bit over a month ago he wanted to become a police officer, both Dean and I last met when saying goodbye to Sal couple weeks ago as he left for a police academy out of state.

“I think Sal told me he spent Thanksgiving with you last year. He’s doing well at the academy last heard from him…”

“Yeah… I’m glad he’s happy, it’s just everyone seems to have run off.” I sigh

“Hey! I’m still here. But yeah, Roswell and Dave are now are traveling somewhere or other together.” Dean’s voice is still casual, but there is a hidden pain under it. Roswell and Dave became a couple during the mansion trip. It surprised everyone… except Hoss.

“Yeah, I can’t help you with where they are. They are both hopeless at staying in contact, so the radio silence is pretty normal… I still miss having everyone around though.”

“Not sure what to do as group mom now all your friends are growing up and finding themselves?”

“Something like that.” It feels a bit simple summed up playfully like that, but he’s not wrong.

“Well you can look after me at least, but I warn you- it’s not a one way street, so I get to look after you too, like dragging you to see my family so you aren’t hermiting it up on a holiday.” Dean’s words are kind but if I focus too much on the nice side of them I feel like I’ll see things that aren’t there.

“Hermiting isn’t a word. I’m not that bad! I like people, they are mostly just away… but I guess you have a point, Sal is where he wants to be, Dave is with Roswell, and Tyson’s at Hoss’ place, looking after each other only makes sense.” I smile. Maybe Dean has a point, we haven’t fallen apart. We’re together, just in different places.

We make quick work of Dean’s shopping list. Before I know it we we’re in front of his house. The wood is painted a warm orange. Various shadows of bears pass the windows and the sound of voices mixed together into a quiet, indistinguishable hum broke through the outer wall. A lot must be happening inside.

I knew he had a big family but maybe throwing myself into this was a bit much. Those are a lot of people to make a good first impression on. And I had to start off on the right foot. You never know with dragons after all… I try to ignore my own family’s role in that stereotype to prepare mentally. I could always leave if I don’t think I can do this right.

Dean seemingly sensing my hesitation put an arm around my shoulder. “Hey, I’ll be right here, and if you get overwhelmed let me know.”

“Okay, thanks… I will.” I nod at him and he opens the door.

“Welcome to my home. Over to the left is the dining room where everyone’s gathered.” Dean thinks for a moment and adds “If you want to meet mom before being thrown into that, she should be in the kitchen. I’ll join you wherever you pick.

It wasn’t really a choice for me. If Dean’s letting me into his family home for Thanksgiving the least I can do is help prepare dinner. “Let’s check out the kitchen… I want to make sure it’s okay I’m here.”

Dean gives me a raised eyebrow but leads the way into the kitchen. The moment the door was open warm air hits me and the rich scent of cooking meat and honey overpowered the air.

A bear woman stood by the kitchen bench. Her head turned to face us. She was a brown bear like Dean but her fur was a grey that reflected blue under the fluorescent light. “Oh, Dean dear, who’s this? A friend of yours?” She had a warm smile and a round cherubic face.

“Hey mom, this is my friend Orlando. I invited him to spend Thanksgiving with us. He was going to spend it alone! Can you believe it?!” Dean didn’t even ask permission!

“That is if that’s alright with you and your family, Mrs Orson.” I add, bowing slightly out of instinct.

“Oh dear, of course that’s fine. The more the merrier after all. If you want to get settled in the dining room dinner will be out in a few hours.”

“I actually wanted to help you prepare dinner if that’s alright. It’s the least I can do. Or at least talk to you. Dean told me you used to run your own bakery and that’s so cool! I want to pick your brain about that and share some recipes with you, I’m sure you have some great ones!” the words rush out my mouth. Being a cooking nerd isn’t the traditional greeting to offer my host my family would approve of, but I’m too excited to care.

“While flattery won’t get you everywhere, good help in the kitchen will sure get you a long way! But only if you are sure you want to. After all you are our guest.” Mrs Orson focuses back on the vegetables she’s cutting. Leaving me free to walk in and join her or the family without being pressured either way. Not missing a beat she adds “Oh Dean, did you grab what I needed?”

“Got everything on your list right here mom.” Dean dropped one bag onto the counter and the other into the fridge; I’d seen him sort them before we left the shop. It seems the family has a system for these things. I placed my own bag that only had my switch in it on the end of the counter.

“Lovely, and if you could cook up some of the sausages that will tide over the family while we get dinner ready. I’ve preheated everything so just throw them in.”

Dean moves to the oven and places some sausages onto the grill with tongs. He cleared his throat shifting his voice into a shocking British accent. "I'm Bear Grills, and I'm going to show you what it takes to get out of some of the most dangerous places on earth! I’ve got to make it through a series of challenges in the sort of places you wouldn’t last a day without the right survival skills! This time I face the harsh wilds of holidays with family. Navigating complex social situations like. 'So do you have a boyfriend yet, or are you going to end up like Uncle Billy Bob?' Where Uncle Billy Bob is there and I don’t know if I should defend myself or Uncle Bob first and-

Dean’s accent falls away hallway into the monologue I laugh at his antics. Then I smell burning. The sausages!

I rush up to Dean, sliding myself between him and the grill. I snatch his tongs and rotate the sausages. They’re turning black on one side and pink on the other. "Dean... You've got to look after your meat."

Dean leans forward, resting his head on my shoulder to see what I’m doing. I can feel the movement of his chest with each breath against my back. I can’t believe I put us in this position…warm blood rushes to my face. Dean’s also blushing. He quirks his eyebrows and smirks his 'I made a sex joke' smile. He holds it for 10 seconds of pulse pounding tension before the penny drops.

“You just did a me.” Dean’s deep whisper sends an oven of warm air brushing past my cheek. This is too much! 

“Ok, now give it a good twist and…” Dean’s shaking with quiet laughter against my back. I wasn’t sure why, but then it hit me. You can call me Britney Spears because oops, I did it again!

“How about you give it a shot!” I dash away from Dean across the room to Mrs Orson, who has a knowing smile but says nothing. Standing next to her she’s my height, at 6 feet, she’s pretty tall.

“Dean, you’re going to scare Orlando into thinking he’ll be grilled at dinner if you joke like that.” The reprimand is calm, more a reminder than a punishment. It was so strange so see, such jokes would not have been forgiven back home… I like this more.  
Mrs Orson didn’t even feel the need to let the words hang or wait for an apology continuing. “Once those are done, if you could bring the sausages out to the table that would be swell.”

Dean looks at me, worry in his eyes. “Sorry… I didn’t- the family’s great. I’m sure you’ll love them; I thought a joke would put you at ease… I didn’t really think it through.” Dean’s always looked like a kicked puppy when his ears droop. That’s probably why his mom doesn’t have to press things. She knows he’s trying and helps him see what he misses in the moment. I’ve only just met his mom and I already understand Dean more through meeting her.

“It’s alright. It worked, and I’m excited to meet your family… Just give me a bit here. I’m not very used to crowds.”

Dean nodded, his expression a mix of serious and compassionate “Trust me, I understand.” And with that over he quickly switched back to his normal good mood.

“The sausages are done mom! I’ll take them out now.” Dean quickly plates the sausages. As he passes me he says “You can join me whenever you’re comfortable. You’ll be alright with mom?”

It was nice of him to make sure I was comfortable “I’ll be fine with Mrs Orson, thanks for asking though.” I said.

Dean nodded and left the kitchen to join the family smiling contently, Dean swayed away. His humming fading away as he closed the door behind him.

Mrs Orson smiled “Please, you can call me Cindy, it’s my name after all.” She laughed; it was a sweet, pleasant sound. I could almost hear Dean’s laugh echoed in it… It felt strange to have a parent wish to be called by their first name. Back home it would be disrespectful to address an elder so casually, but it did fit her. Casual and friendly is a nice change from stiff formality, but not an easy change to process.

“Okay Cindy?” Calling an elder, a parent by their first name tasted wrong on my tongue, like one of my failed cooking experiments. Mrs- Cindy raises an eyebrow and I feel flushed, but before I can apologise she says. “Don’t worry, I understand it takes time to get used to. I appreciate the effort. You’ll get there.” 

I’m still blushing, but a grin’s spreading from ear to ear. Cindy is very different from my own parents and yet… She feels familiar in a way I can’t identify. “Where do we start?” I joined Cindy as she pulled out another chopping board and a utility knife.

“I have the turkey in the oven and that just needs to cook. Now we’re onto making the Honey Lime Fruit Salad. Since you’re the guest I’ll let you pick, do you want to prepare the smaller or larger fruit?”

“I’ll do the smaller fruit” I take the utility knife Cindy offers me, joining her at the free chopping board. Turning it over in my hand the quality is obvious but it feels familiar. I was given a knife just like this as a gift once. “This is a really good knife! Good grip, well balanced… Did you buy it recently or is it just well looked after? It’s nicely sharpened and everything!” I beam; slightly flustered by fanboying again but these are good knives!

“You know your stuff! I have a whetstone in the cupboard there, but it’s a bit of both. Your knife I bought a while ago and this knife, has been passed down through the family. I look after it well.” Cindy looks wistfully at her Chef’s knife.

“You’re family taught you to cook too?” I ask.

“Cooking has always been something that connected my family. Was it the same for you dear?” Mrs Orson asks.

I frown. There was my Grandpa, and sometimes mom but it was only them. “Some of them.” I say.

Mrs Orson nods but doesn’t press the point, seeming to sense it was a sore subject. I help her divide the fruit. I said the smaller fruit to prove I could handle the finer work and avoid being underestimated. The work was divided keeping the best tool for the job in mind... While Cindy is defiantly sweet and kind hearted there’s a practicality under it that was also familiar. Kind and logical. I assume it comes from having run a business. Knowing how to lead things smoothly without being overbearing. I smiled to myself hearing the old in joke of ‘racist’ at the pun and got to work.

There was a lot of fruit to cut, we were making two bowls of fruit salad after all. I knew Dean had a big family so I wasn’t really shocked by it. We worked efficiently together, and it was relaxing, this is what I do. My hands moved on their own, my mind clear. We hadn’t talked for at least half an hour. It felt strange but pleasant to have a comfortable silence with someone. I often felt like I needed to say something or other to fill a silence. But this time I wasn’t the one to speak first.

“I’m glad Dean invited you. It’s good to know he made friends on that mansion trip. He hasn’t been the best at making friends since-” Cindy face shifted from wistful to panic in seconds. The apple really didn’t fall far from the tree. “Family is very important to Dean that means the world to me… I just- it’s nice to see he’s making connections outside the family again.”

Dean wasn’t good at making friends before? That seemed odd. With his warm personality I thought he’d have loads of friends… Then again he had been willing to come on the mansion trip for a month without even knowing where he was going, just knowing who was going and it was somewhere cool.

“I mean, it’s not just me. He’s become closer to all of us, Hoss and Roswell for starters. Dean and Sal go way back too… He’s even getting along with Tyson now where before they both used to fight over Dave…” It felt wrong somehow to talk about the mansion trip like it was the fun vacation it was meant to be, but I couldn’t bring myself to scare Mrs Orson when she was worried about Dean.

“Tyson… He’s the bully that became Dave’s friend right? I always thought Dean and Tyson would get along with time. They both seemed to care about Dave a lot for starters.” Cindy offered this causally like she didn’t just punished my whiff of a shipping chart without even knowing half the people involved.

“How did you see that coming?! It was a shock to the rest of us!” I sputter.

“As you grow older dear, it becomes easier to see what connects people. Some people become close because they share a lot of traits, others connect over their differences. Like take you and Dean, you seem very different at a glance but you value the same things, family and friends. Friends are the family we choose after all. I won’t ask about your home situation, but you wouldn’t have chosen to join us today if you didn’t want to be with family and friends today. Dean’s always known he was fortunate to have a big family. So he likes to share that with people who don’t have it… It’s something I’ve always been proud of him for. Being aware of his blessings and being generous with them.” Her eyes close and for a moment, Mrs Orson embodies serene grace.

Then she pulls a playful smile which is quite common on Dean. “You seem to like him too, you got quite hands on with that cooking lesson before!”

“Wait! But Dean’s-” I was going to say ‘off limits’ because he always has been. I’ve known him since he tried to start a relationship with Dave… But Dave’s with Roswell now. How have I never put that together before? Maybe I needed the system shock of being teased by Dean’s mom to shake that loose. My entire face must be bright red! This is so embarrassing!

Cindy’s laugh fills the kitchen. “Oh, sorry dear, it looks like Dean and Dave were right. You are fun to tease. To make it up to you, they both talk about you a lot. You’re clearly important to them. Which is part of what makes meeting you today so nice; I get to put a face to the name.”

The kitchen timer rang. Mrs Orson opened he oven and took the turkey out in a smooth motion. She checked it with a thermometer. Nodding to herself she took it out of the oven and onto a large plate she had ready.

The smell was heavenly. It took me back. Dave told me once that memories were most strongly linked to smell. I’d always thought it was because he had a strong sense of smell, racist I know but. For a moment my mind reached years back to making Thanksgiving dinner with Grandpa, but I was still in the present, the ghost of Grandpa in the place of Cindy… It hurt, I wanted to look away but I couldn’t! He looked real and alive again and I couldn’t… I didn’t have a choice in the end. My tears blurred my vision to vague shapes. Who would have thought I would want to see a ghost so badly. It wasn’t real, but some part of me wanted it to be…

“Dear, are you okay?” Cindy wraps me a hug that’s warm like bread fresh from the oven, I don’t even try to speak I just let myself cry, she doesn’t rush me, rubbing my back. My embarrassment already fading Mrs Orson’s so motherly; it’s hard not to feel at ease around her. My sobs fade and I finally answer.

“I’m okay now… You did nothing wrong. Just being here, cooking with you for Thanksgiving, it reminded me of my Grandpa. He’s not with us anymore, he died a while ago. I thought I worked through it, but sometimes… I just miss him, I see him in people. In moments and it all comes back. It’s so stupid, I should be better.” I sigh.

“Now, you listen to me! It’s not stupid to miss our loved ones who’ve died. We pick up the pieces and move on but what you’re feeling. It’s normal. It’s proof he lives in you.” Cindy’s voice is no louder than normal but it commands authority while being supportive, just like Grandpa.

“What?” I feel like I should have something smarter to say, but it’s all I can get out.

“As you truly get to know people, you hold a part of them in you, so even if the worst happens, a part of who they are is always there… That’s how people you meet remind you of those you already know, or you know what a friend would say when they aren’t in the room. Your grandpa was clearly important to you… I’m honoured I remind you of him. Just don’t go chasing ghosts dear, and remember to make good memories with those you care about so you’ll always be connected to them.”

“Don’t worry. I never liked ghosts. That was more Roswell’s area.” It’s a bad joke but I laugh, Cindy smiles and lets go of the hug.

“Are you feeling better? We have time if you want to talk more.”

“I’m good now… Thank you Cindy, I think I needed to let that out.”

“You did it! I told you that you’d get there!” Cindy smiled… I wasn’t sure wh- Oh! Her name! I said it without thinking. “Just remember, I’m here if you need to talk though things sometime. I may not always have advice, but it helps to have someone who will listen.” Cindy said.

“I might take you up on that… I didn’t get a chance to swap recipes or ask about your bakery, so we’ll have to do that later.” I say.

“Okay then! This turkey’s had time to cool. Let’s get it out to dinner!”

We quickly dressed the plates up and got everything ready for dinner, Cindy calls Dean back into the kitchen to help her bring most of the food out. We leave the turkey, Cindy having someone in mind to grab it later. It was almost time to meet the whole family.

Dean smiled at me “I know I joked about dragging you in there, and I do want you here, but if you don’t feel up to a big dinner. I won’t stop you.” Dean shifted from foot to foot, concerned.

“I want to stay… Just stay with me alright?” I ask.

Dean and Cindy nod. I have two people I trust here now. We bring the food to the table. The blurred together noises of various conversations fade. Taking its place is the hesitant gaze of most of the bears in the room. As a dragon I need to get this moment right or I will be rejected or treated as a threat. I try to work out my plan, but the moment we get our dishes on the table Cindy takes control.

“Everyone, this is Orlando. Dean’s friend and our guest. If you mess with him you mess with me. Understood.” Cindy commanded the room. Nodding to herself satisfied, she turns to Dean beside me and said “I’m going to join Humphrey- my husband. Look after him Dean. Your friend’s a fine young man.” Cindy gave Dean a knowing smile and left to hug a bear man who looked like an older Dean wearing a tartan waist-coat and yellow tie.

With Cindy gone the rest of the family surrounded me offering their hand and greeting. Looks like my fear of being rejected were unfounded. I tried to shake everyone’s hand and return their greeting. I probably looked manic shaking hands with two people at a time; sometimes crossing my arms across each other when Dean spoke up.

“Ok, enough. One at a time!” Dean growled and the bears looked at each other and lined up. It seemed overenthusiasm ran in the family. They must be comfortable around each other to course correct.

The greetings were a lot easier after that. Each member of Dean’s family seemed nice; before I knew it I was at the end of the line facing a strong old bear man. He gave my hand a firm shake “Hello, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” I said.

The man gave Dean an approving smile and said. “You found a polite one, he’s greeted everyone like that.” He was right, looking back the others had gone for more casual greetings but I wanted to make a good first impression.

I ignore my blush and press on. “Thank you, I’m Orlando. It appears you have me at a disadvantage.” It was perhaps a touch too formal, but proper introductions were one of the things my family was very strict about.

The man laughed “Kid, you can call me Smokey, Dean and his small hyena friend do. It’s nice to see some kids still have manners in this day and age! Back in my day you really needed them, but try not to get too wrapped up in formality. One of my kids husband’s was like you.” Smokey points to a Bear in a blue duffle coat with a red hat across the room who was seemingly mid conversation with a female bear with a pink bow in her hair. I say seemingly because they were growling… like actual bears would.

Smokey laughed at my obvious distress. “Would you believe that when he met Sonya he was as formal as you? Now those two speak in code like a couple of teenagers. They are happier now though. Point is, speak how you like, you’re in good company.” Smokey looked like he could go on but now the excitement of meeting the stranger was over most of the family started finding a seat for themselves around the table. Smokey nodded his goodbye and shuffled to the head of the table.

Dean and I looked at each other, both being next to two empty seats. Without thinking I pulled back a chair for him to sit. Dean had done the same for me. We were both frozen, waiting for the other to take our offered seat. Wait… I’M THE GUEST! I flush crimson and sit on the chair Dean pulled out for me. He pushes my chair back in like a gentleman. That takes noticeable strength. Would I have been able to push in Dean’s chair had he taken me up on my offer? He’s roughly my weight but a lot stronger.

Dean flopped onto the chair next to me. “How’re you doing? I know it can be a bit much to meet a big group at once but the family all likes you.” Dean was almost bouncing up and down in his chair. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my introduction to the family going well or because he was excited for dinner. Either way I had to admire his high energy approach to things.

“I’m good. It was nice to meet Cindy, and it’s not the first time I met anyone from your family. I met your brother at his job before.”

“Oh yeah, You’ve met Little Freddy before! I forgot that.”

“You summon me midget?!” A voice came from outside the dining room. A bear with the same silver hair as Cindy walked into the room; he was so tall he had to duck his head under the door frame.

“Little Freddy?” I ask. I’d noticed his height the first time I met him but the nickname was new to me.

“Well… he used to be little-”

“But you’ll always be the older brother.” Freddy sets down the Turkey onto the table, the ceramic platter hitting the table with a deep ringing sound. He sunk into the chair opposite us.

“Not that anyone would guess that, you’re hair’s already gone gray, it’ll fall out any day now.” Dean smirked back at Freddy.

“That just makes you even older than me, you little goblin.” Freddy shot back.

“I’m 6 foot 2 you giant! To think I’m short you must’ve smashed your head on a doorframe.”

They’re fighting! I need to break this up. “Would people even guess you’re brothers? You look pretty different.” I ask.

Both Freddy and Dean both pull back from each other and turn, staring at me. At least they aren’t fighting, though they were smiling while doing it… Is that normal for brothers?

“There’s a family resemblance…” Dean trailed off.

“Yeah! I got my good looks from Mom, you’ve met her, and Dean’s takes after dad. He even inherited his fashion sense!” Freddy said animatedly, pointing up the table to both Cindy and Humphrey in turn.

“Hey, I look great in this.” Dean said waving the side of his plaid jacket.

“I never said you didn’t.” Freddy smiled; just like Dean… maybe this was normal for brothers? Or for them at least? I didn’t get time to think on it more as Freddy’s eyes wandered back to me.

“You must be Orlando. I met you before at work right? Talked to Mom before, she’s taken a real shine to you.” Freddy’s posture was casual, waving his arm slightly as he spoke. He looked a lot more like Dean here. At work he had more of his mother’s refined quality to his movements.

“I just helped Cindy with dinner and we talked...” I wasn’t really ready to reveal how honest I got while talking to her about Grandpa.

“You’re already on a first name basis with mom? You must have warmed up to her too.” Dean said coming in for the save.

Our talk was interrupted by Smokey whose voice rang out from the head of the table. “As we have a guest here I’ll cover the basics, before we start eating we each say what we are thankful for. I am thankful for being able to see all my children and grandchildren, I like living in the mountains but time with family is a good break from how isolating it can be.”

The family went around the table clockwise saying what they were thankful for. Dean’s lips quivered slightly from stress as his turn approached… He hadn’t thought about it before at all huh? Freddy had a shit eating grin that let me know this happened every year. In a blink it was Dean’s turn.

“I’m thankful for my health and the wellbeing of my friends and family. Recently I’ve come to see how much of a blessing that is.” Dean nodded and sat down.

Oh no! It’s my turn! I’d been watching Dean so I hadn’t thought of my own words! I’ll just have to feel it out as I go, like dodging around a boss while learning his attack pattern!

“I’m thankful for crossing paths with Dean today, for his offer that I join him here tonight, and for your generosity in welcoming me into your home. To be surrounded by family for the holidays… It’s something I didn’t expect to experience again. Thank you.”

I sat down. The rest of the family quickly got through what they were thankful for. Almost all of them were thankful for their family; I could tell they weren’t just saying it. They all loved each other. I hadn’t thought a family could all love each other like this. Despite it being what a family should be.

Freddy restarted the conversation. “You know mom basically counts you as one of her own already right?” His ears were down like Dean’s get when he’s sad; he gave me a sympathetic smile.

“Really? I thought she would treat anyone with the kindness she showed me.” Cindy just seemed earnest but the two brothers looked at each other, Freddy had a smug grin.

“Mom gets protective of her own. She’s just pretty open with who ‘her own’ are. That said, she never went full ‘You mess with him you mess with me’ over Dave, and she knew Dean was all sweet on him.”

“Dude! She never got to really talk to Dave one on one. It’s not like she didn’t like him…” Dean looked hurt by that.

“She didn’t mind him, thought he seemed closed off.” Freddy and Dean caught on that dinner had started without them and started piling food onto their plates. I’d grabbed a mix of turkey and salad already. I should be mad about that comment about Dave… But it’s apparently not wrong, and maybe I’m still a little mad about how Dean and Dave didn’t work out. Once they had grabbed their food Freddy’s focus came back to me.

“So you’re Orlando. I know I’ve seen you at work but I don’t know whe- crap!” Freddy’s pupils shrunk in shock.

“Freddy language!”

“Sorry mom!” Freddy yells across the table, adding “You’re Dave’s friend huh? Saw you two together a lot.”

“Yeah, I’m his best friend, and it’s alright, thank you for making me feel welcome… but I don’t want you cutting Dave down to make me feel better. We’ll call it even this time, just don’t do it again.” I say.

Freddy let out a sigh of relief, before focusing on Dean fully “Okay, what’s this being thankful for your health stuff! You saying you don’t want to become a cyborg like your cool handsome brother?!”

“Excuse me- what?!” I sputter.

“You don’t think I’m cool and handsome?” Freddy’s voice has a saccharine quality; he flutters his eyelashes at a ludicrous speed. Freddy is a lot more dramatic here, on the job he would flirt with a more professional air, like a host would flatter guests, this was comical by comparison.

“I meant the cyborg bit!” Despite the fact he’s clearly joking my face is still bright red. Maybe no one will notice. Dean’s glaring at his brother and Freddy’s grin’s stretching from ear to ear… no dice.

“Quit messing with Orlando! If you won’t tell the story I will.” Dean said.

“You’re protective of him too... Okay, I’ll tell the story.” Freddy closes his eyes, concentrating. “It happened when I was 16, I was in a rush to grow up. That was before my growth spurt so people knew Dean was the big brother. He was focused on school and I wanted to get my hands dirty in the family lumber business. Things went fine for a few months. I didn’t mind the work. Then one day I was on the industrial saw… didn’t have my ear muffs on one of my ears fully, hurt like a mother-” Freddy’s worried glance goes up the table to Cindy, who’s laughing at something Humphrey said. “Hurt a lot, was guiding the wood into the saw so I couldn’t adjust it. Tried shaking my head to make it fall fully over the loose ear and it came off completely! The others saw it then, stopped the saw and got me to hospital to get it checked… I thought it was overkill at the time, but turned out it was long enough to lose part of my hearing in that ear.”

Freddy spoke casually, I expected him to be more emotional but it all seemed in the past… He has a dopey grin on his face locking his eyes with mine. “So can you imagine what my dear older brother had to say when he comes to see me in hospital and saw this?” Freddy turned his head, giving me a clear look at his left ear, which had a small device behind it with a clear wire going into the ear. A hearing aid, I wouldn’t have noticed it without it being pointed out to me.

The question’s rhetorical but it could be anything. “Did he say ‘what’s that?’” I attempt.

“No! He said ‘So… You’re a cyborg now? That’s pretty cool.’” Freddy collapses into a laughing fit.

Dean has a sad smile on his face. “You’re never gonna let me forget that huh? You looked so scared and small. Like you were waiting for me to kick you while you were down and it made you laugh! The nurse said it was the first time you smiled since coming to hospital too.”

Freddy gave Dean a serious look, echoing his mom’s focus. “I had been… scared that you would be mad at me. I’d tried to grow up too fast and you’d want to clip my wings. But no, you couldn’t even be mad at me for getting hurt. You just wanted me to feel better, to see something better in what happened.”

“You were hurting enough already. You’d learnt your lesson, so what good would shouting do?” I had seen Dean be stern before. Only now I could see the shadow of his mother in his protective streak. This moment felt oddly private, like something I wasn’t meant to see. At least in my family it would have been… emotional talks were reserved for those directly involved. I’d worked to be open emotionally out of spite; to see a whole family decide to be this open… Is that why Freddy is so different here? He’s comfortable being himself at home where at work he needs to be professional.

Freddy smiled “You know, I think that was what I needed back then. To look on the bright side I mean… I remembered mom used to run her own business. I already took after her in most ways anyway so I decided to give that a shot. Mom’s a great teacher but scary! You wouldn’t know it seeing her full mom mode, but she’s a cut throat business woman when she needs to be. Taught me everything I know over the next year when I wasn’t at school.”

A brown bear in stripped overalls leaned over to join the conversation… only in striped overalls, no shirt. A bold choice, especially in this weather. “See, I knew my kin had a hankerin' for a place to start his business. So when me and me band played at a place with good bones but only makin’ a piddlin'. The staff all wanna skedaddle since the boss’ real ornery I knew we had an in!” He leaned across the table to shake my hand. “Howdy, names Billy Bob, but ya can call me Billy or Bob, both be fine I reckon.” He doesn’t even wait for a response continuing.

“So I pass it onto Cindy, an she gets a fixin' to the place with Freddy. She granny-slappin' good at business talk. Got her druthers right quick too. Got the place in a month an th’ younguns workin’ there moved across. An that’s how Petey’s Pizza started!”

The moment Billy had finished talking; he was pulled into a conversation further down the table about online dating. The guy seemed to be following all the conversations at the table so he could lean across and add his piece. He certainly seemed talented at multitasking.

  
  


The rest of dinner passes in mostly comfortable silence, at least in the area surrounding me. The food melts in the mouth and the turkey’s cooked to perfection. Cindy truly was a talented chef, and I knew the family agreed. They tore into their food with vigour. Not exactly polite, but in its own way it was a clear compliment to the chef.

After dinner as the others were standing up I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I help clean up? Or just head out. This has been nice; I’m not ready to leave yet.

“Hey… Do you want to stay the night? You can sleep over in my room if you want. We can set you up a mattress on the floor… Or would you rather share my bed?” Dean’s smile was only playful. I’ve known him long enough I can tell apart serious flirting and him just trying mess with someone.

“The mattress will be fine.” I didn’t want to give Dean the satisfaction of being flustered. I stood up and asked. “So, where’s your room?”

Dean hopped to his feet, leading the way to his room. We grabbed my bag from the kitchen on the way. His bedroom was a lot like his room in the mansion. Slightly messy with a few shirts left lying around on the floor, but nothing unmanageable like Roswell’s room; where you had to hop to reach each foot sized patch of clear space. Dean sat on his bed and I joined him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dean didn’t even have to say more for me to understand.

“Not really? I mean the mansion trip was scary but… things could have gone a lot worse. Do you want to?” I was surprised how much I meant it. Maybe Freddy’s story had helped.

“No, it’s not the mansion it’s-” Dean looked genuinely conflicted, “It’s petty, I shouldn’t think it.”

“Talking about your feelings can help sort them out.” I put a supportive hand on his shoulder and wait. Letting him decide if he was comfortable talking about what was bothering him.

“Um… Did you see Roswell and Dave coming?”

“No, and I can’t believe it! I was so sure it would be you and Dave! After my ship with Sal sunk he said he liked small and smart so I honest had him and Roswell in mind. None of my ships sailed!”

“Ships?” Dean looks confused, but a little relieved I’m not chewing him out for being a bad friend.

“Oh god, we’re going to have to start at square one! Like Relation _ships_ I had my eye on the group, and I was backing you and Dave hooking up. I lost a bet to Hoss over it!” I turn bright red, I just outed myself for having bet on my friend’s relationship status.

“Shit, how much money did you lose out on?” Dean rubs my back supportively CLEARLY MISSING THE POINT I BET ON HIM AND DAVE. He’s being unreasonable reasonable. “Wait, who did Hoss bet on?” Dean asked.

“He somehow predicted Dave and Roswell! Said _“It’s always the childhood best friend”_ like life was an anime. Oh and it was only a couple bucks. Don’t worry it was mostly a pride thing. I was so sure… You were always very respectful of Dave’s limits, while communicating honestly and openly about what you wanted. Meanwhile, Roswell and Dave are both my friends… but they are not great at understanding their emotions or communicating them to someone else.”

“Oh, so it was the same for you… I thought you might have seen them in a way I didn’t being a part of the anime club.” Dean looked thoughtful. We were both stumped. “Maybe they were both just very private? Like Roswell only opened up when talking one on one with Dave?”

“Maybe, but that wouldn’t explain Hoss seeing it…” I searched back through my memories and found something much more recently than I expected. “That’s it!”

What?!” Dean almost fell over from surprise. I used my arm on his shoulder to help set him upright.

“Maybe they’re like your uncle and Sonya. Maybe if you’ve known someone for long enough, you can speak to them in a way they get even if no one else can understand.” I say.

“Maybe… but wouldn’t it be easier to just speak plainly? I know that’s what I’d want.” Dean’s ears flick up and down when he’s concentrating. He seemed to follow what I was going for though.

“Yeah, it’s what I’d want to… but Roswell was always good at puzzles and maybe he was able to figure Dave out, and Dave figured Roswell out in return. Maybe that’s what made them compatible, they found it hard to say what they wanted so found someone who understood without having to say anything.” I nodded to myself, now I had found words for it. It helped.

“So Dave and I just weren’t compatible after all… It’s a pity, there were moments were I was so sure we were. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. I hope Roswell makes Dave happy. It still hurts though… I loved him.”

“I understand.”

“Do you?” It was a question but Dean said it with firmness, a quiet challenge. “I know it sounds dumb but I honestly could have seen myself marrying him.” His words hung with a painful longing.

“I do, I also had feelings for Dave… But you made him happy so I pushed them aside. I thought I was okay with it all. Dave picking Roswell shouldn’t have changed anything… but I had time to get ready for you and Dave. I saw you both glow in the others presence and even if it stung I knew I was making the right choice… When he picked Roswell, I lost it. I had been wrong about you and Dave. I could have made a move! I had been denying myself for no reason- but that’s not right either. Dave made his choice, but I know I wouldn’t have moved between you and Dave as you’re important to me too.”

Tears roll down my face, Dean wrapping me in a warm hug makes me bawl louder, it’s unfair! Dean shouldn’t be the one supporting me through this. I wanted to support Dean and broke myself!

“I wouldn’t have blamed you, like I didn’t blame Roswell. Dave had a choice to make and made it. Maybe they were just more compatible. Did you ever tell him?”

"No, I never confessed to Dave and botched my confession to Sal…"

"That's not a bad thing" Dean says it with warmth that burns me.

"It’s not bad that I’m a failure at relationships. Failure is not tolerated in my family..."

"Well, that's ironic isn't it?" Dean's smiling in spite of this being serious.

"What, that I'm not like my family? That's pretty normal."

"I mean, not being afraid of failure is a rather _Noble_ quality." Dean's smiles spread to a dopy grin but his eyes are determined. He knows I can't prove him wrong, being so confident in a pun's very like Dean. I give him a weak smile; I’ve stopped crying thanks to him.

"What I mean is!" As soon as it was there the bravado falls, and Dean trips over his words explaining himself. "No one gets life right on the first try, look at Freddy. He didn't just run a business as his first job. He had his mistakes before things worked out. I know things will work out for you too. You’re not a failure at relationships, you’re learning from each false start. Improving, and one day you will get your happily ever after."

“You really think that?” I hate the hesitation in my voice. I need to know I’m worth that, but sometimes it gets hard to see it happening.

“Are you kidding, you’re like ideal wife material but a guy! Whoever you end up with would be lucky to have you.” Dean’s determination is back making sure I see he’s serious before a blush creeps up to his face and he looks away. “So… talking has been good, but I think I’m talked out for now. Is there something you want to do to relax before trying to sleep?”

I blush but he said it without the smirk. It was an honest question. He didn’t even catch his own sex joke… “Do you want to play a game? I have my Switch.”

I pull the tablet out of my bag and show it to Dean, who looks uncomfortable.

“If you want to play a game I’ll watch you… but I’m not very good at games.”

“You can learn. I’ll teach you! What do you have a hard time with?”

Dean scrunched up his face and his ears shifted around… struggling to find the right words.

“It feels weird….Moving and getting the camera where I want, It’s hard to move and see what I want. Like you said with Sonya and Uncle Pad. Games speak a language I don’t know.”

“So you struggle with the kinaesthetic awareness of game feel?” I ask.

“I guess?” Dean says, when thinking his eyes wander up like he’ll find the answer written on the celling.

“That can be taught… You don’t have to if you aren’t game.” I poke my tongue out at him, it’s slightly childish but Dean laughs.

“I’ll try anything once, just don’t expect anything special.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll guide you through it, but it’s not like it’s your first time.” I smile wryly.

“Wha-” The color drain’s from Dean’s face, it takes all my composure to not break down laughing.

“You’ve played games before. You’ve got this, I believe in you.”

Dean nods at me understanding, his eyes shining his expression between determined and flattered. Knowing where his issues are I can pick a suitable game. I put Breath of the Wild into the Switch. It’s a game Dean can play at his own pace. He’s good at navigating and the wide open areas should give him room to adjust to the camera without it going into walls. Booting up the game I remember another benefit; I had only played on Master Mode. The normal difficulty save slot was empty. Dean could start from the beginning. With both me and the game teaching Dean this had to go better than Sal’s cooking lesson had. Assuming I hadn’t just jinxed it.

I started a new game and passed the Switch to Dean. He watched the opening cut scene of Link waking up out of the healing pod in his underwear, Dean looked at me. “Link, more like twink, am I right?”

“Link rides the line between being pretty and handsome and ends up both.” I have a thought and decide to follow it.

“Dean, are twinks your type? I mean Dave is pretty small…” the nervous edge to my voice was obvious.

“Would you call Dave a twink? I mean he’s small but he’s not real thin either… As for my type, I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” Dean gives me a knowing smile, he thinks he’s won! Not likely!

“I don’t have much, I do like taller than me and strong guys but that’s about it.” I blush slightly and wait for Dean’s answer.

“That explains Sal.” Dean laughs, he’s just being playful but that hurt, Dean notices. “Sorry, sore subject…”

“It’s fine” I say. It mostly hurt because he was right. Looking back Sal and I wouldn’t have been compatible in a relationship, but my attraction to me made me miss what my relationship to him was. I shake my head, focusing on the conversation at hand. “So… what’s your type?”

“I don’t really have a ‘type’ at least when it comes to build. It’s mostly personality for me… I do have things I like though, like soft hair. But yeah, mostly I’m flexible.” Dean says. I find myself oddly relieved for some reason.

While we talked Dean got the Shika Slate and opened the next room, to my surprise he ran right past the two chests that had the old clothes and opened the door to the outside world. Leaving Link looking out over the vast horizon of Hyrule in his underwear, Dean really did not have any basic video game feel. HE DIDN’T LOOT THE CHESTS!

I could make him go back… but this is compelling. I want to see how Dean tackles the game.

“If you want guidance on the controls let me know. I’ll help with reminders like that but unless you ask I won’t backseat game and tell you what to do.” Dean nods, focused on going down the hill, he used the lock on button to keep the camera behind Link instead of messing with the joystick while moving. He stopped at a mushroom and then wildly spun the camera around for some reason.

“What are you trying to do?” I ask.

“Look at the base of the mushroom.” Dean keeps spinning the camera seeming to decide that’s all the answer I need.

“Well… If you push in the joystick you will be able to use the first person camera.”

Dean does so and zooms in on the base of the mushroom. “They’re really called joysticks? No wonder you like playing with them.” Same smirk, same wink… This time he’s not getting away with it.

“Says the guy checking out a mushroom’s veins.” I smile as Dean doubles over laughing.

“Ha!~ I didn’t know you had it in you! I was checking to see if it was poisonous and it totally is! It’s a Jack-o-lantern. The ‘veins’ as you called them are gills and they run parallel. So…” Dean moved Link down the hill to speak to the Old Man.

“That mushroom isn’t poisonous… maybe they modelled it wrong? If you eat it Link will be fine.”

“Well that’s just poor game design!” Dean huffed.

As the Old Man is giving Link the way to go he adds in “Aren’t you a little chilly?” Dean mumbles. “It’s not like I can do anything about that, woke up like this.”

“There were clothes in the chests back where you started.”

Dean looked mortified “I was meant to dig through someone else’s stuff and steal their clothes?”

“You’re kinda in your underwear.”

“I thought these were shorts… Game fashion is weird so I thought it was normal.”

“That’s mostly JRPG fashion, we blame Nomura for that.”

“Who?” Dean says miffed.

“You’ll find out in time.” I rub Dean’s back supportively; I’ll make him a gamer yet.

“Well I’m not going back for them, guess this is one of those challenge runs Dave said you do. No shoes no shirt run!”

He’s already trying challenge runs, I’m so proud! One day I may even be able to go to a convention with Dean. May even get to cosplay with him, but for now baby steps. Dean’s reached the fountain outside the Temple of Time now seemed like a good time for a lesson.

“Okay, so try to run around the fountain while keeping the camera focused on it.”

Dean tried, bless his heart he did. But 3 loops in he was just starting to make his camera movements less janky before he stopped clearly frustrated. I guided my hands over his and with my thumbs I guided his hands to move Link while keeping the fountain in steady focus. Dean’s thumbs twitched and I lifted mine up and watched him turn around and loop the fountain in the opposite direction before running straight past it keeping it in focus.

“See, you’ve got it now.”

Dean kept moving Link around getting comfortable with moving the character and camera together smoothly.

“Your hands are soft.” Dean whispers.

“What?” Did, I hear that right?

Dean stopped moving Link, whatever he wants to say, he doesn’t trust himself to split his attention. Dean’s fingers flexed and relaxed trying to calm down. “Your hands… They feel nice, I thought because of the scales it would feel rough like Sal’s do. Your hands are different, smooth and warm. It’s nice… Do you want to teach me the rest of the controls like this?” Dean raised his thumbs back under mine, and I lowered them back over the joysticks.

“Oh… okay.” If this was how Dean learnt I could work with a hands on approach… Dean’s hands had a comforting weight to them. I guided Dean though what the face buttons and shoulder buttons did slowly. We were both comfortable to take our time. It was nice… intimate. We even swapped and Dean tried to guide his hands over mine so I could learn what worked best when guiding him, but once I’d taught him the controls I let go of his hand. I’m annoyingly aware of the empty cold air now surrounding them.

Dean rested the Switch tablet in his lap and given how he’d taken things before well, I got comfortable resting my head on his shoulder to see the screen. I wrapped an arm around Dean in a hug.

“Okay, this is nice but you’re pinning my arm.” Dean pulled his arm away from me and then wrapped it around me. Dean guided the Switch in the middle of our laps to reach it around me.

“Better?” he asked

“Yeah” I nodded into his shoulder and he continued playing.

Dean made pretty good progress; he found navigating the world simple but enjoyable and didn’t get too stumped by any of the puzzles. It was relaxing to watch him play. Seeing how flexible the game was, where I had done the Old Man’s cooking quest to get warm clothes for Link, Dean grabbed a flaming torch and used it’s warmth to protect him from the cold mountain peak in the tutorial area. I rarely needed to guide him, I’d remind him of controls if he asked Dean rarely hit a problem he couldn’t solve in his own way. He got through the tutorial and as he used the Paraglider to make it to the game world outside the tutorial I asked him.

“So what did you think of the game?”

“It’s good, I’d like to play more of it later, and that’s even if it doesn’t come with a free cuddle session!” Dean smirked before the smile shifted to something more earnest “You’re a good teacher, thank you… But now I want to teach you something I know.”

I blush… the implications of Dean saying that while we’re both on his bed get my mind racing. Dean stands up, throwing me off balance as I’m pulled up with him before letting go of the hug.

“Oh… sorry! What I want to show you is outside… You okay? You look disappointed. Do you wanna sleep?”

“Ah! No, I’d like to see what you have in mind!” I shake my head pushing out the suggestive thoughts, of course Dean didn’t actually like me. He was just being a good friend when he said I’d make someone happy and liked hugs because, well who doesn’t like hugs? I should just be happy I have a good friend, damn it! 

Dean messes with my already confused thoughts more by grabbing my arm and leading me to the back of his house. If I resisted he probably wouldn’t have been able to drag me but I was happy to let him lead.

Dean opened the back door into a garden filled with plants, trees around the outside and smaller fruit and vegetable gardens with flower beds between them. Dean let go of my arm. It’s good we’re both wearing jackets to protect us from the night’s chill.

“So this is where you wanted to take me. There are a lot of plants here, huh?” I feel slightly stupid for stating the obvious but Dean takes it well.

“Yeah! The family let me go wild with this place. Always liked plants… Having something to care for, to nurture, it’s very satisfying. Thought I guess you’d know what that’s like that since you’re always looking after your friends.” Dean winked. He had to just be teasing right? But that felt like an honest compliment.

“Yeah, I do, you’re pretty good at looking out for people too. You made sure I wasn’t alone tonight… I appreciate that.” I blush, but feel less embarrassed once I see Dean blushing too.

“You got me in on the mansion trip, it didn’t go as planned but I made a lot of new friends so… Thanks.” Dean gives a small but earnest smile.

“It was Sal’s idea to invite you, are you sure you want to thank me for that?” I say.

“It was your idea to invite Sal, and you’re the one who took on Sal’s suggestion and talked to Roswell to make it happen. I felt stuck in place with Dave before the trip, I’m glad he’s happy and I got closure. You helped make this happen Orlando, things were scary but we came out alright. Now we can do whatever we want!” He smiles at me and in that moment I know I can’t avoid it anymore. I have a crush on him… I’ve let my stupid emotions fall for another friend. Have I let myself I mistake friendship for love again?

Dean claps his hands breaking me out of my thoughts. “Now it’s time for that lesson! I want you to tell me where north is!”

“What! How do you expect me to do that?!” I ask.

“Well, Dave always said you were good with directions. I wonder how you do it. Guess you don’t navigate by the stars. So I’ll be able to teach you that after all!” Dean’s thoughtful expression quickly shifted to cheerful wink and he lay down on the ground, patting the space next to him.

I lie down, the ground was cold and slightly damp, I hope my clothes don’t get muddy. I didn’t have to worry about the cold though. Dean wrapped his arm closest to me around the back of my neck, supporting my head and used his outer arm to point at the sky.

“Okay, so we’re looking for Polaris, the North Star.”

“How, I mean it’s a star, so it’s going to move across the sky depending on the time of night, right?” I ask.

“That’s what makes Polaris special; it stays in place over the North Pole. So if you want to go north aiming for the North Pole’s a good way to get there! You know the Big Dipper right. Start by finding that and point it out to me.”

The night sky fills my vision, It’s almost like when I cloud watched with Dave but different somehow. Something about it being at night made it less relaxing and more intimate. The Big Dipper didn’t take long to find, I pointed to it and Dean whooped.

“Nice job. Did you know the Big Dipper is a part of Ursa Major, the big bear. You know any of those?” Dean smirked and pulled me closer to him. He’s warm. I feel safe with him beside me… I try not to think about how he is just being close to me to stay warm and just enjoy it.

“A big bear showing me Ursa Major.” I giggle; it’s cute in a silly way.

“So how do you find the North Star from here?” Dean points to the two stars at the far end of the consolation, opposite the handle.  
“Draw a line from the base of the big dipper to the top and keep following it and soon enough.” Dean’s arm followed the line he drew across the sky, stopping at a bright star on the line.  
“And you’ll reach the north star! My dad taught me that as a kid. And Grandpa Smokey taught me how to track in the forest so I’d never be lost. ”

“Unless you end up in a hedge maze, then I have to defy stereotypes and be your knight in shining armour.”

“I’ve been wondering… How did you do that? Did you get a maze cheat sheet off of Benson? Or is this one of your gamer powers I’ll unlock once you get me used to looting chests?” Dean tiled his head backwards to meet my eyes the goofy upside down face in a serious expression felt very Dean.

“In the blood I guess, I used to get lost in Grandpa’s house but eventually it just made sense? I just have a sense for these things now.” I answer.

“How big was his house?”

“It’s… kinda a castle.” I said.

“A castle! So you have an inbuilt rich people building design sense.” Dean laughed.

“That and Dad was big on puzzles… Helped me learn the rules to things, like if lost you either retrace your steps or failing that you wait to be rescued. From a maze at least, I guess the wilderness is different.”

“It really is… So with our powers combined we’d never get lost.”

“I guess so…”

We relax into a comfortable silence, watching the stars together. Until eventually Dean sits up and picks a flower from a nearby flowerbed, pulling out his whittling knife he cuts something delicately. Hiding the flower behind his body so I can’t see what it is. I sit cross legged, but don’t peak around him out of respect.

“I can’t believe you still have that knife.”

Dean’s ears stand up at those words. Crap! I gave that knife to Dave to give to Dean for his birthday but wanted that to be a secret. He hasn’t figured me out… right?

“I thought so. The knife was from you after all!” Dean flips the knife in the air, catching the handle with smooth confidence. He was clearly used to the blades weight and balance.

“How did you know?” Well, might as well go down gracefully given he already knows.

“I didn’t, you just told me!” Dean gives me a wink. HE DIDN’T KNOW! AHAHSAJSHK!

“But I suspected it for a while, like remember a couple years ago when I borrowed one of your kitchen knives?” Dean asks.

“My utility knife? The one you wrecked trying to crave a little hyena for Dave?”

“Hey! I SUCCEEDED at carving that hyena figure, and I bought you a new knife, got mom’s word it was a good one too.” Dean said.

“It is, I wondered how you knew a good utility knife if you thought using one as a whittling knife would work out, but how does that relate to your knife?”

“That’s when you learnt I liked whittling and needed a new knife. When Dave gave me the knife for my birthday I was thrilled, but months later he saw me using it and acted like he didn’t know my hobby. I suspected since then, but I only just found out for sure.”

Dean put the knife back in his pocket and stood up. Once I was on my feet Dean was holding a flower out to me… A single yellow rose. He had cut the thorns off so it wouldn’t hurt me. I smile… or try to, I should be happy. Dean’s giving me a rose. This is what I wanted right? But I can’t get past the color. Yellow. Friendship love. The “no homo” of roses. I take it. I always take what I can get without complaint, no matter how much I want more. It’s how I was raised.

“Thank you Dean… but why a rose?” I swallow, both dreading and being desperate for his answer.

“Well, there’s obviously it means love and…” Dean keeps going but I can’t hear him over the drumming of my heart racing through my ears. He loves me! The shadow of doubt remains and chills my blood. I still don’t know what kind of love, if he means “as a friend” or “as a brother” like Sal did… I don’t want that pain again.

“… and beyond its uses for the skin rose petals have surprising antibacterial and antiseptic properties making them useful on small cuts and… You look less sad now but more worried. Have I answered your question? Did I do something wrong?” Dean is looks worried … I try to smile, I need to know.

“I just have one more question for you… Why a yellow rose?”

“Because you’re yellow? And I thought you would like a rose to match you.”

HE DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT THE FRIENDSHIP LOVE! He means it! I am overcome with emotion and double over laughing. Dean stares at me worried for a moment. Fear, regret, pain, I can’t keep up with the emotions that cross his face before he rushes away from me. By the time I turn to him he’s inside his house closing the door behind him.

I hurt Dean… He was trying to be honest with his feelings and I laughed in his face. No wonder he’s upset. I was crushed when Sal had to let me down, and he showed some tact… Why did I laugh? I growl at myself and flop onto my back. Once again watching the sky, painfully aware of the cold empty air all around me. I fucked up. I wanted to help Dean get over Dave and all I did was reopen old wounds of feeling rejected, in him and me. I sighed, overcome with my thoughts.

_You laughed because you don’t think you’re worth love, you found the idea ridiculous._

That’s not true.

_It is… It’s why you pushed Dave away and never let him know how you felt; you can blame your family. But deep down it was always just you. You don’t think you are worth someone loving you. It’s why you always look after people. You bake for others to buy their friendship, it’s a bribe. Just like your family._

Shut up! I bake because I want to. Explain Sal then! If I’m bribing people why would I pick someone who doesn’t like my treats to develop feelings for?

_Sal was free. You wanted Dave but denied yourself even trying, met Dean but by the time you knew you liked him, you knew Dean wanted Dave so you denied your feelings once again. Then you met Sal and he was the safe place you could move all your other emotions to. He was strong so your family couldn’t scare him and was single._

I liked Sal because of who he was! He is nice and caring and-

_Treated you like a little sibling, and yet you wanted to be loved so badly you mistook what kind of love he felt for you… leading you here where you needed to be sure with Dean but couldn’t accept his answer because you don’t think you’re worth love._

You say that but why would I want and look for love if I couldn’t accept it?

_You desperately want to be loved to prove to yourself you have value. You need external validation because you are incapable of loving yourself. That’s why you are so scared, you messed up and Dean doesn’t like you for you. He likes you for doing good things for him. The same goes for your other ‘friends’ too, and now you’ve hurt him, so he will hate you._

You are wrong! I’ll prove it! I screwed up, but I’ll make it right!

I roll onto my feet and march to the back door. I swing it open, pleasantly surprised Dean left it unlocked. Dean turns to face me. His eyes are red, like he just finished crying.

“Orlando, listen…” defeat rings in Dean’s voice, making my stomach lurch. I rushed up to him and couldn’t slow myself in time, knocking him back into the wall behind him; I caught the wall beside his head to slow our impact. The slap loud as the rushing of my heart, I needed to keep moving, I’ll shatter if I stop.

“No, you listen! Because I have a lot to say and I need to just go before I have time to second guess myself like I always do. I’m sorry for laughing at you. Confessing your feelings is hard and it was wrong of me to do that. I laughed because I wasn’t sure if you meant you liked me like a friend which is why I asked why yellow as that’s what that means in flower language. I do like you- Have since I met you but you wanted to be with Dave so I pushed it down. I have a lot of emotions to process later but for now I needed to let you know how I feel- as much as I know anyway, like I want to say ‘I love you’ but I don’t know if this is love and if you don’t feel the same that’s okay. I’m just sick of being scared of my own emotions or losing my friends from them- please if nothing else we’re still friends right?”

My voice became more strained both from emotion and me not breathing enough between words, I started crying, Dean wrapped an arm around me and let me cry myself out before he spoke.

“Am I allowed to speak now?” Dean’s goofy smile made me laugh. But there was a hesitance in his voice.

“Sorry… I’m not usually like that.” I sigh.

“I know… But I like a man who knows what he wants. We gotta work on bringing that out more so you can take charge when you need to without crying.”

“I thought you were going to say it was hot.” I laugh.

“That too! But we’re having a serious moment here! Speaking off… I think I know why this has been such a mess, Orlando. You don’t need to know how you feel about me before you start. That’s what dating is for. I meant what I said before though, I think you are getting better at this confession thing each time you do it… Wanna take another shot at it? I promise no matter how it goes we’ll still be friends at the least.” Dean said.

“You mean!” I feel my heart racing again. Dean smiles warmly at me. But he didn’t answer me.

“You tell me how you feel and what you want without laughing or crying and I promise I will answer. I believe in you Orlando. You can do this.” Dean’s smile is one I know, I’ve seen it in the mirror from when being Dave’s goach. Dean is trying to guide me thought this… Wasn’t my first confession good enough? Wait! I know what I was missing! I lock my eyes on him so he can’t look away, for this moment I will be Dean’s world.

“Dean, I like you. I have for a long time! You are nurturing, optimistic and your willingness to try everything the world has to offer. It- _you_ inspire me to live life to the fullest. Which I am doing now, since Dave is happily together with Roswell I have no reason to deny my feelings anymore. I want to go on a date with you. I want to follow this feeling wherever it takes us… That is if you feel it too, so Dean… do you?”

“I do” Dean kisses me and the pounding of heart feels like fireworks exploding between us, warm and bright. I feel connected to Dean like I haven’t felt to anyone. Dean almost pulls back to leave it a chaste kiss but I lick his lips, inviting him to open his mouth. He does, Dean deepens the kiss making full use of his tongue while planting his hands on my hips under my shirt. I matched him, my tongue reaching into his mouth and tasting honey as I made sure Dean felt the same warmth I felt across my whole body. Dean pulls back wearing a broad grin and we catch our breath.

“Yes Orlando, I like you too. You are so warm and caring and you get along great with my family. Also you are very pro communication which sounds basic, I know but that’s a real plus in my book. Or maybe it’s like you said before, we speak each other’s language. I think we could be really compatible, but we’ll take it one step at a time, we’ll go on that date tomorrow if you’re free?”

“Yeah, I am. I’m looking forward to it.” I can’t believe this is happening. I try to hug Dean, and then remember I accidently charged him into a wall and need my arm where it is to keep me on balance. Dean looks between my arm and me for a moment, his eyes light up.

“Wait, are you doing, the car bay dom?” Dean asks

“The what?”

“You know… Like ‘the move’ but like the Japanese version of it, with the wall and the arm slam.” Dean tilts his head to my arm at the end of the sentence… wait, does he mean?

“The kabe-don? How do you even know that?” I ask.

“Hoss taught me. Thought nerd dating advice may help me. I thought he meant it for Dave, but in the end it was useful. You hit me with the move!”

“I didn’t mean to! I just rushed at you and then I needed my arm and-” my stammering was cut off by Dean kissing me lightly on the lips.

“You’re cute when you get flustered.” Dean winks and I turn bright red. I step back and Dean walks up the hall. He’s holding one of his arms back behind him, waiting for something. In that moment I realise, both our failed attempts at relationships had lead us right to each other. I’d never been happier to be wrong in my life.

“It’s late, we should get to bed. We don’t even have to set up another bed for you now, unless you want one that is?” Dean turns back to look at me, his wink is followed by slight caution, making sure I know I can ask for a mattress if I’m not comfortable… I’ll put his worries at ease. I catch up to him and hold his hand.

“Sharing a bed would be nice, but just that… I am actually tired.” I mean it too, now that the big emotional rush is over, I’m ready to flop into bed for the night, cuddling Dean before that’s just a bonus.

Dean nods “of course” Dean leads me back to his room, after closing the door he looks me over.

“You have dirt on your clothes from outside. I know you sleep in a shirt, you can borrow one of mine if you want?” Dean’s voice rises at the end, forming his sentence like a question. The dirt’s on my jacket so my shirt’s fine… but borrowing one of Dean’s shirts is defiantly tempting.

“And here I thought once you got me alone you would want to get me out of my clothes, not offer me yours.” I stick my tongue out at Dean and he blushes. I like the shoe being on the other foot.

“Hey! I can be a gentleman, besides you said you didn’t want to do anything, I respect that.” Dean’s blush fades leaving a knowing smile. “You didn’t say no to the shirt.”

“Yeah… I’d like that.” I nod at Dean and start taking off my jacket, removing my shirt with my jacket to make borrowing Dean’s shirt make sense. I slowly cross my hands over my waist, grabbing the shirt from the bottom, and pull the shirt and jacket up my body and over my face. I feel Dean’s eyes on me though the fabric blocking my view. Once the shirt fully off I see Dean hasn’t moved, an arm held out to his closet like he’d planned on grabbing me a shirt and got distracted. It was flattering to think I have this power over him to stop him in his tracks like a sim with his objective deleted.

“You do the arm cross thing when you take off your shirt, it’s cute, like unwrapping a present.” Dean says unbuttons his pants and slides his jacket off his shoulders. He drops his jacket at his feet right as gravity finished slowly pulling his pants down around his feet. He steps out of his pants and slowly unbuttons his plaid shirt. He has a sly smile on his face; he knows what he’s doing! Each button showing off more of his body from his strong chest to his soft stomach. Dean winks, he knows I’m staring, despite blushing I don’t feel flustered. I started this and he knows how to keep up. But I need to distract us; if we keep one-upping each other we won’t get any sleep.

“How do you take off your shirts” I ask, legitimately curious. I thought the way I did it was how it was done. I quickly remove my pants without any show to be ready for bed.

Dean looks at me, his shirt fully unbuttoned now. “Well, normally I’d just slide my arms out of a button up like you would for a jacket, or how you would for a jacket if you weren’t showing off for me.” Another wink from Dean, I didn’t fool him huh? Well guess it turned out fine.

Dean puts his arms to the back of his neck, grabbing the shirt collar and throwing his arms above his head taking the shirt up and over his body. He pulls his arm out of one sleeve and holds it out to me. That’s smooth! He’s covering up forgetting to grab me a shirt by literally giving me the shirt off of his back!

I grab the shirt from him and put it on, leaving the buttons undone. Being half dressed is sexier than just taking everything off and even with the buttons undone I can tell Dean’s shirt fits loose on my chest but is tighter around my middle, I doubt it would be comfortable done up. I frown running a hand along my stomach, I really am a couch potato compared to Dean.

Dean eyes flash with concern, then understanding. He closes the space between us and whispers in my ear. “Looking good Handsome.” He hugs me, picking me up and spinning in place. Dean really is strong to be able to lift me… did he work out what I was thinking? Either way he knew how to make me feel better. I rest my hands on his shoulders and he puts me down, facing him with Dean’s bed behind me.

I promised myself I wouldn’t show off any more… but the moment’s too good. I wink at Dean as let go of the hug and flopped backwards onto the bed. Throwing my hands above my head, keeping my eyes locked on Deans, who looks seconds away from a nose bleed. He throws his hands up in the air.

“Okay, wow! Yeah, I’m calling it, you win. If we keep going I won’t be able to just sleep next to you… Didn’t think you could be this flirty when you want to be, you keep that side of you hidden huh?” Dean turns off the light and walks around the bed, seemingly not trusting himself to climb over me and gets into bed next to me, I turn to lie in bed normally.

“There’s more you still don’t know about me, but you said yourself, that’s what we’ll learn while going on dates. I don’t think I know everything about you either yet. I look forward to it though.”

Dean sighs, getting comfortable he turns to face me, his face illuminated by moonlight he wraps an arm around me. I slide down and settle against Dean’s chest, hugging him back, Dean’s free arm glides through my hair as he talks. “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it too… There are things we will have to talk about before we can properly become boyfriends though.”

I can understand that… Usually I wouldn’t press it but my minds starting to drift off to sleep so the words, “what sort of things” leave my mouth. We are silent for several seconds, by the time my tired mind works out that Dean may not be ready to talk about it yet he’s speaking.

“Like that if we become boyfriends, you are the one who has to tell Sal.” Dean says this firmly and calmly like he’s saying the sky is blue.

“Okay… but why? You’re his friend.” I ask.

“Sal… is very protective of you; trust me he’ll take it better if you are the one to tell him. That’s in the future though.” Dean squeezes me tighter, adding “I feel good about this, you and me I mean. The family loved you, you like them too right?”

“I see… They are very nice; I thought a family like yours only existed on TV. Being a part of that, even for just tonight was lovely.” I say.

“It’s not like it has to end, who knows one day you could be Orlando Orson.” Dean rests his head on top of mine and with his arms around me, I feel safe, surrounded by him.

“One day at a time Dean” I mumble drowsily into his chest. Despite myself I know I’m smiling, it’s too early to really think of that yet, but as sleep takes me my last thoughts are of marrying Dean and being a part of the Orson family for the rest of my life, they blur into dreams of a future with Dean and his family that could now be mine, I know I have the power to make these dreams my reality.

Epilogue: Seen with other eyes.

I’m woken up by the sunlight streaming into my room; I’m oddly well rested. Weird, I can’t remember the last time I slept that peacefully. Opening my eyes I know why. I didn’t even get under the covers last night. I must have been exhausted. A dream or a memory hangs just out of my reach. A ghost of someone who should be here bothers me while looking around my empty room.

The door to my room opens and Orlando walks in, wearing my shirt. My memory comes rushing back. Orlando at the shops, dinner with the family, us playing games together, the stars and his confession. It seemed like a dream but it was real!

Orlando smiles at me, the sunlight from my window shining through my open shirt showing the shadow of his body underneath. He’s holding a mug in his hands “Good morning I didn’t wake you did I? I woke up early so I made you coffee, white with one sugar right?”

Orlando places the mug on my bedside table and smiles at me. With the light shining on Orlando, he had a holy glow. He brought me coffee, what an angel.

The moment is destroyed when the door to my room was blown open like a bomb had gone off. Freddy leans into the room looking from Orlando to me grinning wickedly. “Get a room you two!”

“We are in a room! You burst into my room!” I lazily chuck a pillow at Freddy who catches it smirking.

“You two smashed!” Freddy lets out in a sing song voice tilting his head to Orlando wearing my shirt. Both Orlando and I blush.

“We didn’t-” I rush out.

“Not yet anyway.” Orlando adds.

“Orlando!” I cry.

Orlando blinks a few times, confused. When his eyes meet mine his pupils shrink in panic before he closes his eyes, after taking a slow calm breath he turns to Freddy. Walking up to him with the confidence I only learnt he had last night.

“I mean, we could whenever, you could join us if you like. There’s always room for one more after all.” Orlando says calmly. There is just enough huskiness to his voice that it could be intentional or from just waking up.

“What?” Freddy freezes in place, like a horrified statue.

Orlando walks away, pulls out his switch, putting a new game in it and turning it on. The screen showing Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Orlando tilts his head to the side and adds. “It’s a little early but we could play Smash together sometime if you want.”

Freddy nods and mumbles a “maybe later” quietly closing the door, lost in thought.

Orlando nods satisfied and turns to me saying “That will keep him too confused to ask about us for a while at least, this way we should be able to tell the family before he does. So… Where do you want to go for that date?” he asks.

I can’t believe it. I’M GOING ON A DATE WITH A FREAKING GENIUS TONIGHT!


End file.
